• Oct. 15, 2003
• By Shawn
• In Politics
• 3 Comments
• 0

This is why I hate polls to begin with. They’re not a solid indication of anything. When’s the last time you or someone you know was polled by Gallop, or anyone for that matter? Also, the questions are usually so subjective that the answers are loaded. And, in the end, it doesn’t matter anyway, because, as splattworld so deftly demonstrated, how the polls are perceived and the data used can too easily be stretched to fit a journalist’s agenda. Maybe stretched isn’t the word; when 50 different organizations are polling the same issue, it’s probably just easier to find the results that are close to the ones you want.

Speaking of polls, someone told me the other day about a poll involving three true/false questions (e.g. There is evidence that Saddam Hussein/Iraq was involved with Sept. 11.) All of the correct answers were false. Of the different groups, 20% answered true for all three, except for the group that exclusively watches Fox News: 40% answered true to all three. I think the NPR group was lower than 20%. (Sorry, I can’t find this poll.)

What Gallop should do is set up Internet polls with a timeline like E-bay. Anyone who wants to can register their demographic information and then respond to any number of polls. That way, the 10-20% of the country that gets their news from more than just the Nookie and Dickwhistle Morning Show on their way to work in the morning can actually have a say in these polls. Hell, given the diligence of the 10-20% who really follow the news, maybe they’d be the only ones logging on consistently.

WASHINGTON – Today, President Bush was found floundering on the Oval Office floor in a pool of tears. An unnamed senior administration official reported that the president had tried to hang himself with his tie, but it was a clip-on, and he fell off his desk. Mr. Bush was heard screaming, “Four! FOUR! Four fucking… um, you know, um… percent!” It is speculated that the president was referring to his approval rating, an all time low in White House history. Mr. Bush has been Baker Acted, but will not likely be removed from office. “There’s nothing saying he’s any less mentally competent than he was before,” an unnamed senior administration official said. “So there’s nothing saying he should resign.” Mr. Bush’s failed suicide attempt marks the 1,598th failure since he became president.

As to the long run, I agree with splattworld. I said it before: the Bushes know how to party, but they don’t know when or how to leave one. Bush should have bought time, maybe doing something domestically for once, until around next June to invade Iraq. It’s very hard to replace the commander-in-chief during wartime. Also, it’s a very gung-ho patriotic thing, until there’s nothing left but three dead GI’s/day after the war is “over,” which wouldn’t be a problem when it’s all going down during second-term.

It’s such a sad indictment of your blatant ignorance of your own country’s history when you’re the one repeating it, and the lesson you should have learned was at your DAD’s fucking expense!
“What president started a war in the Middle East for no clear reason, ended it with no gained objective, and drove his domestic economy into the ground like a fucking dart?”
“Um, Bush Senior… no Junior… no Senior… no Junior.”

As for the elections, the polls don’t matter, at least not yet. With seven knuckleheads splitting the anti-Child President opinion, the majority of dissenters aren’t going to get off the fence until they have one knucklehead they can get behind. Opinion is so deeply rooted in cattle behavior. There isn’t one solid pull in any direction yet, so the safe-betters, the ones who don’t want to rock the boat at the water cooler, are going to pull status-quo until then, by either going with Bush or by saying nothing. Unless you’re in the campaign, election polls mean diddley squat until after the primaries.